Chiro

Now I’m back to feeling like I want to talk about work all the time and all these interesting people. At the other place I do not think about the people as much but at this one I do. Today I was more caught up in all of the heart reasons I am leaving. I would categorize it into three groups and I do apologize for any cringe terms or language. But there are the ones where I feel like we have bonded very deeply and significantly. That is the smallest group. The biggest group is mostly everyone else.

And then there are the ones where I had bonded to them and they left. I feel like I will always have in my mind these beginning people and those initial sessions of trial. But I also do not feel the need to dwell to much upon that. With the exception of possibly last year we are at the lowest we’ve ever been for money so this isn’t exactly the time to be spending hundreds of dollars on therapy office supplies and set up. So I’ve only spent about $40 so far. I talk about the office issue too much too.

It’s not really that big of a deal. I really can adapt and be content in a lot of environments. I still want a blanket warmer and bolster pillows and oversized throws and weighted Indian blankets. So we’ll see. Whenever I do these three in a row five minute meditation practices it almost always has me dreaming about somatic therapy and very rarely some sort of task such as schedule an appointment with the chiropractor. I realized I kind of ghosted him and never used all my purchased sessions.

Meridian

Zorro and I walked down to the lake before work this morning. Dad and the littlest were at a chapel visit in Champaign so they had left earlier in the morning. All of my appointments showed up today which was nice. It’s gotten better since the summer but the damage was done and it went on long enough that the other choice became more appealing and made too much mathematical sense.

I didn’t mean for it to go this way. The Hope supervisor says I have nothing to be sorry for or to feel bad about but I do feel bad and I do feel sorry. I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I’m sorry that I basically just got there and now I am leaving. Today it was announced in the Teams chat so the rest of the staff knows now. I told my nursing boss that I was not able to keep up with ongoing requirements.

So that’s officially over now too. I need to remind myself though that being with one person at a time for 4-5 hours a day is much more doable and enjoyable than being responsible for 14 patients on a wing for eight straight hours. A part time job can be 15 hours a week and still bring in significantly more than if I worked two 8-hour shifts. One I could do for at least two more decades.

Disney

The boys were off school this morning for election day. It was nice for everyone to wake up and not have to focus on getting out the door. Somehow we started talking about how we needed to take another vacation to Florida. I told my cousin after the wedding that I needed to come down there and see what this Disney thing was all about. My aunt loved Disney and all of them love Disney. Every time we’ve gone down there they ask us about going but we have always declined.

So we told Dad our idea and before we knew it he was marking it in his calendar. We were talking about going in February or March before track season and he said it would have to be on a week when he didn’t have a chapel visit scheduled. I said that it’s early enough beforehand that he could still reschedule or cancel it. But thankfully during the boys spring break in March there weren’t any chapel visits scheduled. I told Elianna that we’d have to figure out something to do with Zorro.

I made the boys their sectionals video tonight. I’ve gotten lazier with the video making and sometimes things are out of order or the song and the pictures do not perfectly line up at the end. But it is what it is and hopefully they still appreciate them. The conversations have already switched over to track already so quickly. Josh made a really great supper–I love when he cooks. It was like every other day of trying to savor the moments and never quite feeling like you’re catching them all.

Portland

I’m looking forward to feeling like I have breathing room again. I know I have to sound like such a wimp to so much of the world, but this working schedule just…isn’t for me. I’ve lived too much life to be able to handle those requirements. Two and a half days would be my ideal. But who really cares what my ideal would be or what does that even matter? I’m starting to get that feeling like what I say does not hold all that much weight anymore because what I say so often or eventually changes.

There’s nothing to write about.

It’s November now. The sky has that November look. Josh said he had at least three reels in his Instagram feed saying that if your wife decides it’s time to put up the Christmas decorations, just to let her do it. He said he felt some camaraderie. I’m tired of my Instagram feed and hardly read that stuff anymore. My sister is back from her honeymoon and flew into Chicago today. Elianna drove out to Nebraska to spend the week there. She watched Lila several times today and did some dishes.