This afternoon we went down to the camp lake to swim. I slid off the dock into water chest high, half-expecting the sudden outward change to unpleasantly trip the inside of me. It didn’t happen this time, or the other two times I’ve gotten into the water. The kids played with counselors out on the lily pads while the adults interacted, watched, and relaxed. There’s a weightlessness to the body when it’s surrounded by water.

I tiptoed around before leaning in for a few crawl strokes. I was mostly there just to not be in bed, to see if even though I didn’t feel good enough to walk down, maybe the sunlight would help me somehow. It was a good past week, but I think I may have slightly overdid it with the socializing. I pay for overdoing it in the following days. So I was there to get in, and swim a few crawl strokes. Mostly I just walked and breathed.

Little by little clearer thoughts come to mind. I told Josh that I’ve been thinking about this in terms of healed or not healed. Instead it’s almost more helpful to think of each day as presenting opportunities for healthy coping with life or unhealthy coping. God gives us something to get us through for each day, including little moments throughout our days for fun and sunshine.