The next phase in my schooling journey is finding a practicum site for the fall. I had actually hoped to do it this past spring and had a site lined up at a drug rehab facility. The professor in charge of approving our paperwork wanted me to find a different site because students had recently had negative experiences there with not being able to get enough supervision hours. The practicum requires 100 hours total of observation, documentation, and face-to-face client time.

I have an interview this Wednesday with Memorial Behavioral Health director of the partial hospitalization program. It’s for people who come for the structured environment and therapy sessions during the day, but are able to return to their homes on evenings and weekends. Something I am interested in is group therapy, which is commonly done in outpatient or step-down programs like this one. It is a way of fostering and experiencing healing in community.

The bedroom cleaning project is coming along slowly but surely. I’m still in the first room, so the early stages of what I hope to get done. I feel as though I’m experiencing a sort of reverse form of nesting. I have gone into a self-imposed time of solitude where I am not interested in anything but what needs to be done here. Part of me says not to delude myself, that I’ve attempted projects and fizzled out on them before, that it’s pointless because it’s just going to get messy again.

About three in the afternoon I suddenly ran out of energy. I rested in bed, which I’d already done and fallen asleep in the later morning. I didn’t fall asleep the second time but wished that I would have. It takes away the sleepiness from my eyes and resets my body. Sometimes I get a second wind in the evening but I don’t think that’s going to happen today. I was telling my sister the other day, maybe back when we were at state, that my bed has become my favorite place in our house.

At least it is when I’m tired. For all the hours I’ve spent in the school room you would think that it’d be organized and spic and span right now. It’s currently become one of the temporary holding spaces for various things I’m moving around. Nothing heavy. Housework is something I really do enjoy even in the midst of all of these years of wondering how it is I’ve spent so much time here and still find myself surrounded by closets and rooms needing straightened. I cherish the mystery.