One of my strategies in trying to write more regularly here was that eventually I would get so fed up with continuing to write the same way that I always do that I would someday not be able to take it anymore and finally change. It’s the same way I’m approaching piano lessons and I let the teacher know this. That I will eventually get so fed up of showing up without having practiced.

Thankfully he’s been pretty neutral about it. He’s one of those no excuses types of people which I don’t always like because I think they can be harsh at times. But it also keeps me from giving him any “excuses” and basically forces me to keep saying over and over “I haven’t done much with this one”, to which he then says, “Welp, let’s see what you did do.” So I find the page and play what I have.

I have dreams of showing up one day and blowing his mind with the hymn he assigned. There’s this definite frustration I’ve discovered that happens when you are not living up to the programmed fullness of your abilities. By programmed I mean designed, given, and put there by God. I’ve been writing in my journal about the piano for years. I know he knows my heart and I trust him with that.