Today ended up being more of a low energy day. I couldn’t tell if I was tired or just needed to do something. Piano lessons were thankfully canceled today. Again I hadn’t practiced much. My son who’s here and I decided to go down to the lake for swimtime. Dad was already paddle-boarding, so I just joined him and we paddled around in the lake for a while. He dropped me off in the swim area and I swam for a while.

That was nice, but didn’t revive me. On most days I feel energized after being down at the lake. I tried to clean some more in the schoolroom but didn’t accomplish too much. It was pretty clean again not too long ago but then the boys had a LEGO war over the weekend. I still don’t know what I’m going to do with all the LEGOs. I actually started an ebay account in order to sell stuff but so far I’ve only tried listing some of my textbooks.

I rested for a little while before supper. They had mini subs, veggie straws, apples, and brownies tonight. To me that is one of the best camp supper meals, and it’s nice for the cooks and dishwasher because there aren’t a ton of dishes. For some reason I was getting emotional while sitting in the dining hall. I’m not really sitting around thinking about my son going to college, but for months now if I think or talk about him I’ll start to cry.

Not always, but sometimes. The weird part is I can’t really talk about it with him. He doesn’t understand and I don’t think he’s supposed to. I actually won’t be going along when it comes time to take him. I have a summer intensive that starts the same day he is supposed to be in Nebraska. When I first found that out I thought the obvious thing to do was to drop the intensive. Obviously a child going to college is something I wasn’t going to miss.

But then I thought, “You know? He’s going to be okay.” He doesn’t really need me to go with him, and like he already said when I asked him about it, me not going with to take him would most likely be harder on me than for him. So I’ve been at peace with that decision and with the circumstance that led to it. He doesn’t need me there and he will be okay without me. He will be getting a phone and I’m hoping we can keep in touch that way.