The raccoons have not been seen in a while. I was kindly asked to stop feeding them over by the campsite bathrooms. It was fine until someone came and camped there for a week. Another RV couple also moved onto the property and have been staying here with their kids for the past couple of weeks. It made sense to not feed them there anymore, and they were getting big enough anyway to not need to be fed.

It’s crazy how I have this thing for raccoons now. This morning on Facebook marketplace there was a dog kennel for sale for $200. It would’ve been the perfect size for the original baby raccoons we had. My main reason for getting rid of them was not having a big enough space for when they got older. If the kennel would’ve been $50 and a little closer by, I would’ve bought to have for if we ever have raccoons again.

I know that my daughter at least has thought the same way. When we were cleaning out the linen closet and deciding what to keep and what to get rid of, she suggested hanging on to a few older linens just in case we ever have another raccoon situation. I thought that was a good idea. Most of our hand towels disappeared in the short time they were here with us. We would use them for feedings and to pad their bins.

Speaking of Facebook marketplace, I made my first purchase today. It was a headboard and “like new” twin mattress, each being sold for $10. When I was doing the boys room I had looked at a headboard for the non-bunk bed. The one I wanted was close to $100 on Amazon. I didn’t buy it. The one I bought today was the exact color and style as the one I had wanted. We were also down a twin mattress, so that was a good deal.

I mostly joined so I could try to sell some of the bigger things I didn’t just want to drop at goodwill. I have a $300 food dehydrator that I bought back in 2020 and have never even opened. So I’m hoping I can find someone for that. Out of the nine school books I’ve listed on eBay, seven of them have sold and earned back some money which I turned around and spent on the listed books needed for the upcoming semester.

No, I don’t need praise for any of this. I don’t even know why I write this stuff out except for that it’s just what comes to my mind. There are so many other deeper thoughts I have throughout the day, but for whatever reason, this chatter recounting the daily things is what I end up writing about. I wonder sometimes if the deeper life things are being saved for later, like if it’s not actually what I need to be writing about now.

This morning I asked my husband what he’d do if I moved out of our house and got my own place. Like would he make it difficult for me to come get my stuff, what little I actually could say that is mine, or would he just let me take it and go? I was thinking specifically of the bookshelves I’d bought for the living room several years ago. They go together, but they were also not cheap at $175 a piece. Would he let me have them?

Because technically none of this has been my money. I am not the one who has earned a single penny, at least not of any recent or significant amount. He said, “Rebekah, you’re not moving out. Just relax.” He reminded me that this was the busiest time of the year and something about things getting better. It was somewhere in the four o’clock morning hour when I asked, the second morning in a row that I have needed to talk.

There is no amount of wisdom that is going to stop me in those moments. Yeah, you learn to speak your peace and let it go. Stopping then may seem inconvenient, but worth it. But sometimes, no, if I have been awake since 3AM, if I’ve tossed and turned, and gotten out of bed, and found my yoga block by the light of my phone, if I’ve stretched and moved on our new bedroom area rug and it’s still not better, I’m talking.