One of my strategies in trying to write more regularly here was that eventually I would get so fed up with continuing to write the same way that I always do that I would someday not be able to take it anymore and finally change. It’s the same way I’m approaching piano lessons and I let the teacher know this. That I will eventually get so fed up of showing up without having practiced.

Thankfully he’s been pretty neutral about it. He’s one of those no excuses types of people which I don’t always like because I think they can be harsh at times. But it also keeps me from giving him any “excuses” and basically forces me to keep saying over and over “I haven’t done much with this one”, to which he then says, “Welp, let’s see what you did do.” So I find the page and play what I have.

I have dreams of showing up one day and blowing his mind with the hymn he assigned. There’s this definite frustration I’ve discovered that happens when you are not living up to the programmed fullness of your abilities. By programmed I mean designed, given, and put there by God. I’ve been writing in my journal about the piano for years. I know he knows my heart and I trust him with that.

My in-laws have been without power for several days. Earlier in the week there was a storm that came through and left much of the Springfield area without power. That night I had gone out looking for something to eat. Every so often I just need to go off on my own. I tried three different food places on even different sides of town and all of them were closed due to power outages.

So I drove a few miles up the interstate and went to a Subway. Several people there had also done the same thing. I felt bad for this lady who waited in line for a while and when she got to the counter they didn’t have the meatballs for the meatball sandwich she asked for. She seemed a tad frustrated but she did go back to her car to ask her husband what he wanted instead.

I ate half for supper and the other half for breakfast. I’ve actually had pretty good eating habits this summer, concentrating on trying to feed my body good things. Summer and winter seem to be the seasons where I put more effort into my diet. I do not have to think about meals during most of the summer because my husband and kids eat most of their meals at the dining hall.

When I came home from Subway I sat down and wrote my son a five page letter, single-spaced. It ended up being a reflection of his school years, the different school experiences he’s had, and the things I noticed and watched grow in him throughout his growing up years. It took me a couple of hours to write it. He hasn’t said anything to me about it. I don’t know what to say.

We had a nice visit today with our guests. The girl I took paddle-boarding a couple of weeks ago came back with her son this time. Our boys had a few summers where they played together and she was hoping to get him out of the house and doing something in nature. The two of them went paddle-boarding together and then I joined them for a while before he left to go swim.

I’m still taking a break from the major cleaning but tonight I had the urge to start going through books. I don’t know what it is but I haven’t gotten tired of the decluttering yet. I still have just as much motivation as when I started basically a month ago. I’ve felt pretty good this past month and I am thankful for that. How you’re feeling makes a difference in what you are able to do.