It’s cloudier outside tonight which means it won’t be a good night to look at the stars. Overhead I missed Cancer (the crab), Leo (the lion), and Virgo, the apparently gorgeous mermaid of the sky but with legs. That is at least what she looks like to me. Each constellation of the zodiac has a timeframe in which the sun passes through it. So for example, the sun passes through Virgo between August 23-September 22 (give or take). You know what month it is based on what constellation the sun is passing through at the time.

I’m trying to wrap my mind around exactly how this works. When you go outside and look up at night, over time it looks as though it is the sky that is moving. But it is actually the earth that is traveling and making its way around the sun. As the earth moves it passes by clusters of stars. The stars do not stay in the same place hour by hour because as the earth is traveling in its orbit it also is spinning, causing the stars to move past us in the night. I am going to need to think about it more in order to be able to better explain it.

Well anyway, Cancer is the constellation between Gemini (the twins) and Leo. I was never able to see it with my naked eye. I could see the open space where it was supposed to be, and where my SkyView app told me it was, but I could not see it. Even when it was darker and my eyes had adjusted to the night. So I am figuring that my eyesight has changed just enough that I am no longer able to physically see that star group. This was back in the days of Taurus who I can still see in my head now where he is and how he moved.

Today was a regular day. Yesterday I didn’t end needing to be early to school. For labor day they canceled our before class group meetings. That allowed me to catch up with the rest of the family who were attending the junior high track meet in town. These meets are so much more chill than the others. I left when my son was done running and met one of the girls who is part of the group paper we’re supposed to be writing together.

I like this class better than the Family Systems class. For that one we had to role play different family members from 9-10PM. It was okay but having to perform and be somebody else got kind of old. Not in a bad way, but more in a this isn’t exactly fun way. For this class we’re done by 8:15, we get a 15 minute break, and then from 8:30-10 the teacher leads an actual group therapy session where all we have to do is show up as ourselves.

We’re not supposed to talk about anything we talk about unless it’s sharing about ourselves. I have to say, that in this last intensive class and then this one, I’ve been starting to get annoyed with all the therapy talk. Even as someone who likes to reflect and be introspective, it just starts to sound like too much navel-gazing going on. Something the teachers always say is “process over content”. You need more than just the information.

One of the boys and I went and visited my father-in-law today. We arrived right about the time they were wheeling him out for physical therapy. He asked if it was alright if we came along with him, so that was nice. They have a big open therapy space where they do rehab with people. It was my mother-in-law, myself, and my son all watching as he did his session. An example of a process question would be, “What was that like for you to sit in on that session?”

His rehab place is in a hospital which feels like home to me. I actually love the hospital environment and about 95% of the time find hospitals to be exhilarating. I had not seen him since we were in the ER together, after we’d spent part of the day in radiation and then the evening needing to go down through the ER to get admitted. It was actually thrilling to be there, even though I hate ER’s. You learn your nursing skills fast there. I would rather not need any.

I was happy to see him and glad he was closer. I don’t like any of this that is going on with him physically. I feel lately like I need to cry but do not always do so. On our way off the floor the elevator opened and Josh and one of the boys was there with him. I hadn’t known he was coming, so it was again a fun surprise to see them in route. When I was home I put some leftover spaghetti in the oven, and at the table dried my eyes for the running one who wasn’t there.