It’s been a busier past couple of days with Josh’s dad. Wednesday we picked up the boys and then went over to my in-laws house. I was leaving that day to pick up Ethan from school. He had his fall break this weekend and the plan was for me come out Wednesday, spend the night, and then drive back Thursday after his class was over at 11. But when we got there Wednesday Josh’s dad had taken a notable turn.

I have been around a lot of dying people. There’s a look people have when they are nearing death. I told Ethan I didn’t think we’d have enough time to get back. I’ve been keeping him updated through the hospice process and he’d already planned on bringing home his books in case he needed to stay a little longer. One of the boys and I left for Nebraska around 1PM and we got back to Springfield just after 2:30AM.

One of Ethan’s teammates was able to drive him into Lincoln which helped tremendously to shorten the trip. Josh was sleeping in the room with his dad that night and I asked if he thought we would make it back in time. He said yes. The rest of the kids were also staying the night that night at my in-laws house. After Ethan had some time with him he came to bed where several of us were sleeping in the living room.

Three of the kids went to school the next day. The rest of us hung out and my in-laws house and spent time in and out of my father-in-law’s room. Josh, his sister, and his mom went to a gravesite service for a long time family friend at 1:30. The boys and I stayed with John and were there when the nurse and bath aide came. One of the pastors came over at 3PM with his guitar to sing songs and to pray. I had originally thought that we were past the singing hymns around the deathbed point, but I turned out to be wrong. It was a beautiful time and the pastor was breath of fresh joyful air.

The big kids left for cross country practice around 3:30, right when the pastor was leaving as well. Ethan went with his sister to run with the team. The rest of us stayed in the room and were just sitting there and visiting. Around 4:23ish my father-in-law opened his eyes very wide and looked up and to the side. I stood up and went over closer to him. For a split second I was thinking he was looking at the pictures on the wall. I left the room to get Josh who was resting on the couch. I couldn’t find his sister at first, but then my mother-in-law suggested the front porch, which is where she was.

He died around 4:25 on Thursday afternoon. In the room with him was my mother-in-law, my husband, my sister-in-law, my father-in-law’s sister, myself, and the three boys. I knew the other two wouldn’t make it back in time but I texted my son say that Papa was moving to heaven now. They were back about an hour later. People stayed in the room for a very long time and some never left it until the funeral home people came around 7:30PM. I’d never been there for that part. They were not in there very long before they rolled him into the living room for anyone who wanted to say goodbye.

We slept at the house again that night. My mother-in-law mentioned the idea of putting the floor mattress in the room where my father-in-law was just so it wouldn’t be so cramped in the living room. I don’t normally have much disagreement with her suggestions but this time I did say that I thought it was too soon. Five of us slept in the living room, two in the back bedroom, and my sister-in-law with her mom in her room. I actually liked all sleeping together. One of the blessings of this new house they’ve built is that it will have two floors with ample living space for the entire family to spread out.

I was realizing this at some point over the last week. I’d been more upset and bothered about how he wasn’t going to be able to live in his house even though this had been his dream and so much a part of what he worked for. But it occurred to me then that even this likelihood and possibility hadn’t stopped him from building it. He hadn’t build the house for him. He’d had it built for all of us and he has a much better house now than we do. Yesterday all of the kids went to school. After some time apart with everyone busy doing their separate and different things, we will gather again for the feast of God.