I’m feeling better than I was last Tuesday at this time. Yesterday as I was coming inside after taking a walk for basic leisure and as a general way to deal with stress I was hit with the thought that I was scheduled to present on my journal article that night. Was it at the very top of my assignment list that I’d very recently typed out? Yes. Had it completely slipped my mind over the weekend until that moment? Also yes.

It boggles my mind that even when I take steps to be proactive with an issue, I still cannot seem to completely get it right. This isn’t me trying to be cute or subtly deep. It really does confound and bother me. I was wondering where I even get the idea in the first place that things can change. Why do I keep thinking that if I just try hard enough or do something different enough, things could finally change?

So I did get that done. And I was thankful to the Lord for reminding me of it. This morning I dropped off the boys at school and had about 30 minutes to sit in a coffee shop waiting to meet a friend for coffee. Or tea. I’ve been trying to do something on my papers each day, even if it is only finding a source. In that half hour I found two sources for my Multicultural paper, and then tried to do some of the reading.

We talked about our college boys. If I think about him too long I still could cry, but otherwise I feel like that pain has soothed. I was trying to think of how I’d describe it. It wasn’t a break and it wasn’t a cut. It was a separation that happened between us (I told you I’d cry if I thought about it). But he has his different life out there now. It’s a life that is less bound up in my thoughts and not part of my day to day anymore.

I heard back from one of the sisters today. She asked if I’d be staying the night. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. I live close enough that I wouldn’t need to, but then again it might add to the whole experience of the matter. I don’t have a schedule yet of what we’d be doing other than meeting for community prayers, meals, and Liturgy. Today the weather is very nice. It was almost 70 degrees today.