I need six more direct service hours to meet my practicum requirement. I’ve completed the 100 total that we need, but had a slower start in accumulating the 40 needed direct ones. To be honest the first couple of weeks I forgot all about those. I spent my days observing and sitting in on the sessions. Today I led the focus group on Cognitive Distortions. It’s the third time I’ve done this one and feel pretty comfortable with it.

It’s hard to choose, but I think groups are my favorite, even more than individual. Granted, I haven’t had the chance to do much individual work at all, except for the Psycho Social Service Assessments I do with the new admissions. It’s where you’re gathering more information about the person and his or her story. With a straight face I write down abortions and abuses and can only say that I’m sorry. You wouldn’t believe.

Or maybe you would. It’s to the point now where I come back in and don’t remember their names. At least not when I sit back down at the computer to go over my dictation and make any final adjustments until it’s officially signed and becomes part of the patient’s medical record. I remember it only once I’ve scanned the names, and then I recognize the patients that I’ve interviewed, spoken to, crossed paths with for an hour.

It bothered me that I couldn’t solve all of their problems. Not that I actually thought I could do that, or that having all of their problems solved is the reason they’re there. But you know that almost every single person who comes through the program needs more than what 2-3 weeks of basic cognitive-behavioral therapy can give them. Most get referred to a therapist upon discharge where they can continue with individual work.

That makes me feel better and it does for them too. I had to find my purpose and the thing that I could say to them, something so that I wasn’t simply checking off my boxes and accumulating hours. It will never cease to amaze me the way that people trust blindly and not for a minute do I take that for granted. But I might sometimes, and have during times when I was itching to leave. They bring me back to my senses though every time.