Today I had my first day of training on the floor. I think it went okay. Around the three hour mark (10AM) I was questioning whether or not I was really cut out for this work. As much as I love hospitals, there’s no way I could handle right now the pace and workload or even ever. One of the reasons I chose this place was because I was hoping it was something that’d be a little slower pace and less stressful.

It’s basically a nursing home that’s trying really hard not to be. But it is, and the part where I am training especially is, though I still would consider it within the realm of “a nice place”. I just kept thinking about the long-term care unit at my old workplace and how once you get to know the people and the routines it can actually be enjoyable work. There were over 20+ residents that you were in charge of.

So the 14-15ish on this unit is going to be doable once I learn and remember what it is I am doing. Then it’s less mechanical and becomes more personal. You really can feel like all you are is a pill pusher, the medical system is completely screwed up, and that you’re not really helping these people or making a difference in their life. But if you take it one day at a time, and start to know the people, that all changes.

I don’t want to sound overconfident. I guess I could still decide that I don’t really like it and end up telling the directors that this isn’t for me. I did think it several times. And imagined leaving around noon to tell the scheduling lady that instead of working on summer I’d rather go to REACH after all, maybe that would be better. REACH is the short-stay rehab unit. I told them I wanted to train where I was.

I’ve been in a funk the past few days but I think I’m moving out of it now. The days have been fairly busy and I am trying to keep up with resting from everything. I am sore and tired from working this shift. Tonight we drove around some nearby towns to look at Christmas lights. There’s a display that syncs their lights with music and turns it into an almost 20-minute light show. So that was a nice time together.