After supper Dad went down to check on the fire he’d made to burn old piles of firewood. He and the boys drove down in the truck. His dad donated his pickup truck to camp which has been nice because we were definitely in need of a better working vehicle. There was a broken green one that sat outside of our house for a couple of years. I felt like it blocked my open view of the skyline but it also didn’t seem like one of those things worth making a big deal about.

Laura came over for supper tonight. I said it was fine if she comes but he was going to have to help me clean today which he did. The other kids were back to school and dad was back to a normal day of work. Her mom texted me around 1:15 to let me know Laura was on her way and to thank me for having her. He’s been there the past two times and I think this is the last time they see each other before heading back to college. She wants to be a social worker.

Earlier this morning my aunt shared news that the doctors said there’s nothing else they can do for her treatments. We sort of knew this was coming but it didn’t make the news any easier to hear. I felt like I needed to take a minute to recalibrate my brain, and yes, my heart and my mind. I’m sure you can hear it when I write, the way my mind just kind of goes, without stopping to extract and absorb what I am needing from all of these various experiences.

I start to get this feeling like I’m on a horse that’s taken off and I don’t know how to slow it down. I was feeling anxious today about starting back with school and like maybe I just needed to drop one of my classes, like when you’re skiing and your feet start to spread apart too far. They need to come back closer together where I can have a better footing. I’m still in school. These other things come second to that which I’m in the middle of and committed to doing.