I write about food like it’s this ongoing outward thing but it’s really just something that exists inside my head. So I can think for years that if I could just be consistent with weekly meal planning that this would basically solve my homemaking food problems. And the result of this solution? That I would no longer need to think about it.

But here’s the thing–I’m speaking plainly–being consistent with designing and following weekly meal plans, even weekly meal plans that you make up once and then simply rotate throughout the seasons, is not something I have been able to do. And it drives me nuts because I feel like somewhere, I should be far more advanced by now.

Here’s what I know: We have to eat everyday. Traditionally in our family it has been my responsibility to work out the logistics most of the time to make sure this happens. And like the laundry, or much of the cleaning, is this something that I resent having to do? Honestly, no. Do I feel like there are times when I could do a better job than I’m doing?

Sicknesses and life seasons aside, yes. Do I sometimes get this gnawing sense that with just a little bit of focus and intention that the task that so often seems overwhelming to me could be relieved by approaching it in a little less scattered way? Again, yes. So what does this mean? Because it is too much for me to try and plan everything out.

Maybe there actually exists somewhere people who actually do this, women who are particularly gifted with organization and detail, and meal planning is one of the outlets they have for this quality. But I would argue that this is not the vast majority of housewives, or just the normal people out there who are getting by in the day to day.

A couple weeks ago in class we were talking about the Myers-Briggs types. Some of us were P’s, some of us were J’s. The J’s are the one who supposedly like to have things scheduled and operate best in a more structured way when things are planned out. P’s are ones who prefer less structure, leaving room for spontaneity. I am more of a P.

What I wanted to know was, do J’s struggle with nagging thoughts such as “Oh I really need to let loose a little more. I need to learn to be a little more flexible”? And then I explained that this was my struggle, regularly thinking, “Oh I need to be more organized”. I buy my planner and am proud of myself for doing that. It does help.

There was only one student who had anything to add. He’s a J and he says he recognizes where his J-ness could be a problem. And then the teacher said that it’s good to be able to grow in areas where we’re weaker, in organization, in flexibility, etc. But also, at the end of the day, we have to be able to get to a point of, “Okay, this is me.”

And not want to change it. In other words, to accept and appreciate the special ways our strengths and qualities add to the good of the world. So for me this means that it makes sense why trying to plan out the exact meals and make a shopping list for each week for me to follow is something I can do but also feels like impossible drudgery.

It’s because I’m trying to meal plan like a J instead of a P, which is actually who I am. So how would a P meal plan? With a mental template. Let’s say I need five suppers this week. Typically it’s good to have a substantial amount of food for growing and hungry people. Lunch doesn’t have to be crazy but it’s nice to do something more for it too.

And besides the “go-to” memorized recipes like tator-tot casserole which I know everyone likes, let’s just say you follow a general rule to have a meat, potato/starch, and green vegetable option for the evening meals. So when I go to the store that’s what I’m looking for. A couple of bags of yellow potatoes. Brussels sprouts. Frozen stir fry.

Frozen chicken thighs. Pork chops. Beef roast. THIS IS FINE. I don’t have to do it another way. Nobody is asking me to. This works. And if it at some point it stops working, then I can adjust and do something different as needed. But it is actually less stressful for me to do it like this where I can live as who I am instead of trying to be different to no avail.