The cats were happy to have us back. The smell when we walked in was not even as bad as I was expecting. As long as you keep the windows open often enough to air out the rooms then it is manageable. It isn’t at the odorless level I’d like but it’s something I have accepted having to deal with for the time being. What was much worse was the hotel room this morning when we walked in after breakfast.

You really do appreciate the creature comforts of life when you’re on the road traveling. A comfortable bed, a clean bathroom, food that isn’t going to make your intestines uncomfortable, and, as my brother added, time with family just to name a few. This was such a fun little trip. We stayed in St. Joseph again last night but at the cheaper hotel that had a pool, but by the time we got there I was too tired to swim.

Or do anything except to get into bed. Dad took them still. I woke up when they came back and changed out of their swim trunks and turned on The Shawshank Redemption. I don’t think I ever could’ve crawled through the tunnel. The sewer one I could’ve done, but the first one that was just the dirt, I would’ve had to dig it out larger. He was also lucky that the sewer hole wasn’t covered by a grate at the end.

We did not stay up and wait for the new Taylor Swift album. But I have slowly made my way through about half of it on the various rides. We picked up the boys from the dorm on Saturday morning and had about a half hour drive to the meet. For the close ones the team is supposed to find their own rides, so we drove Ethan there as well. It was an exciting race, this time the 1500. My goal had just been to watch it.

I felt like I was going to throw up when it was over. I started walking away in the opposite direction of the finish. Josh sent me a picture and said he was fine. I’d sent him down to the other side to see if he was okay. I was sitting by the concession stand fence shaking and crying. It was a just a release of whatever. My brother sat next to me and said, “It’s alright, Beck.” They all came over soon after and we talked.

I started five songs on the way home from Nebraska. I mean like ones that I’ve written. So far the titles are Figured, Lucky Ones, I Said She Said, and Maybe This Time. The other one I didn’t have a title for yet. I hate to say this but I haven’t been a huge fan of the past few albums. At some point you can’t relate anymore. There are a few okay songs but the rest just seem to be more and more, well, morally depraved.

She does still inspire me though with the way that she writes. It is interesting to see what happens when exploring the depths of female freedom of expression. None of the songs I wrote today were things I haven’t said before, but listening to Taylor made me want to write my own album. It’s just finding that balance of saying what’s true without saying too much, and not just expressing feelings but inspiring new ones.