I’ve been following a couple of pregnant women on Instagram who were due around the same time and have all had their babies in the past month or two. One of them is my age and this was her ninth baby. The other two are in the later half of their 20’s. All three of them had homebirths. I’ve mentioned a couple of times here how I have not ever really had that baby fever that you hear women talk about.

Today might have been the closest I have felt to feeling something like it. The mom was nursing the baby while recording a series of Instagram stories. She was holding the baby so chill-like and has pretty much been holding her baby whenever you see her since the baby has been born. And I smiled and thought to myself, “That’s how I’d do it too”, where you and your baby are basically together all the time.

Not because of some kind of parenting method you are trying to follow but because this is just what comes naturally to you. And how after doing it at least a couple of times like all of these women I’m referring to have, you know more how fast things go and how changing your life for a little while to hold your baby is just one of those things that you do and truly cherish. The baby looked so cute cuddled up and nursing.

This afternoon I asked my son if he felt like I was distracted last night when he came in to ask me about his homework. “No”, he said, clicking away at his game. We were sitting on the couch, me with a Mary Oliver book I could not get into when I suddenly looked up and over to my left. “I thought I was maybe distracting you”, he said. I told him he wasn’t, meaning, I wasn’t mad at him. I’m glad we got that settled.

After that we went to the store to fill in the rest of the lunches and food things. Dad and another one of the boys were out mowing. The two of them then headed out to his mom’s to mow there. When we came back I noticed the grass and thought I should say something. “The house looks nice”, he said, “or the living room at least”, sometime after they were home and we’d eaten. He was trying to be specific. I’d forgotten that I’d cleaned it, that I’d straightened up, swept, and vacuumed the cat hair again from both of the sofas, and by then there were already cords, books, and laundry baskets filling the space. “Thanks”, I said, “The grass looks nice too.”