Last night I was going to try and write about chastity. Obviously having children who are currently in opposite sex dating relationships has got me thinking about this more. And as it seems to go, the stages they are currently in seem to stir up thoughts and memories from when I was their same age. So all that being said this is not a commentary on anything going on with any of them. It’s just the thoughts I am having.

It does make me wonder how God originally designed things to go. Through various ways as a teenager, I picked up on the fact that sex was something reserved for marriage and that sexual activity outside of marriage was sinful. But it also seemed like such a natural way. I would watch Dawson’s Creek on TV where Joey (a girl) and Dawson were best friends and neighbors who often ended up in the same bed together.

Being a teenage show, I’m sure they had sex, but that’s not even the part I remember. It was just the two of them, with their bond and closeness, and this seemed like a most desirable thing. Later I’d hear that rom-com’s were like porn for women. I have looked up porn a couple of times just to see what the big deal is about it. I thought it was gross, and it actually made me a lot less afraid of porn because to me it was so unappealing.

Not too long ago, I watched The Notebook with my daughter one evening. This was supposed to be one of the classic girl-porn movies and I told her we were engaging in some cultural education. It wasn’t an ultra-deep movie, but I actually liked it. Sometimes I cannot stand all the kissing. But this one was sweet. And whether or not it’s girl-porn can be argued, but there was something there in the movie that I felt they got right.

These types of movies, for the most part, follow the natural progression of things. The characters had sex with the person they loved. It was not a random person. Allie and Noah played, fought, got to know each other more, and made up. And this is where the question for me comes in. How long did God mean for two people to wait? Before cultures came into play, and high school and college, what was the intended time?

I think back on those days and would never want to go through that again. I sometimes wonder, “Would’ve it have been so bad?” That is, would it have been so bad to just go ahead and do it and not be constantly fighting temptation? What would the temptation have turned into then? And could things have been done differently to not put yourself in such vulnerable moments, or is this just the way of the world that we all must walk?

At camp we used to say, “Leave room for the Holy Spirit”, whenever we thought a couple was sitting too close. I am shocked when I remember some of the things we used to do. I believe that God’s ways in this area are for our flourishing and edification, but yet why did he make something so like this with such extreme forces to render will-power useless? I would like to write about this more as I continue to ponder it.