With having company, the holiday, and a new camp coming in today my days are all mixed up. It’s Friday, I’ve established. It felt more like a Saturday with nothing to do at least for the first part of the day. Elianna left early to spend the free day with Miles. Ethan came in to tell me he was going out to breakfast with Laura. When the boys came upstairs I told them all to eat breakfast and I joined them at the dining room table.

I think I am slowly wrapping my head around these changes. It’s like I’ve stopped trying to fight it, but it’s more than that. I do still fight it, but I catch myself. It’s like you always knew that the days were fleeting, whether it was the strangers telling you to enjoy the moments, or the changing fade in a newborn face. But it wasn’t really registering, not in how it does now, that the everyday, the daily moments would come to an end.

This morning I cleaned out my homeschool corner in the living room. I think that means I’m making plans. I haven’t actually ordered anything. I have things I want to teach them. I have things that I would change. I have things that I can do now that I couldn’t do before be it due to numbers, limitations, or temperaments. The older ones had the given version of me for their time. The other ones get the present me for however long.