I got a call this afternoon from the woman and friend I’d spent those few nights with. She had a miracle to report. She’d slept through the night and was having no pain. This whole thing, it turns out and confirmed by an x-ray, had been due to a slipped disk which likely happened during surgery. Apparently this is something that happens and just as disks can slip out when the body is stretched in unusual positions, these disks in time can also end up back where they belong.

So we praised the Lord for that. When you have felt bad for so long, to feel good again is truly a miracle. This fever still lingers but it’s not as bad as it was a day ago. The kids had the day off school and spent much of it tinkering around doing kid things. There was time spent cleaning up. I went to my room and worked on my side of the closet. Dad took all four kids to the bike trail where one ran and the other went to the Sangamon River. He’s got it too but not as bad.

I don’t know what was going on with me yesterday. I was kind of embarrassed after I wrote that but couldn’t delete before it’d been seen. Too many things I felt needed more explanation. Like when I say that the recollection gives me hope I mean that I remember previous stages of motherhood/married life when other temptations were also very strong. These temptations, if that’s what in fact they are, lasted for years just living freely and rudely in my mind. But they passed.

So the recollection of the temporary nature of the affliction is what gives me hope, in that if that one passes, then this one will too. I can say with memory and confidence that I’ve been freed from prolonged and inner agonies before. So whatever the current thing is that has me convinced that this is the answer, but that also isn’t lining up with my truest wishes and values, that is the thing to pray against and cry out to God for, though it doesn’t always have to be that extreme.

And the fun, I’m not sure what all that was about. I know sometimes moms can feel like the cares of the world weighed them down. They lost their fun side. Their relationships suffer. Marriages too must also struggle. The sinful flesh is always seeking to be gratified. It’s the part of us that is greedy and also easily offended. It’s the part that wants to be the idol, and thus by definition can never satisfied. I am glad I didn’t listen before and someday so with this. How I pray this is true.