Elianna had a meet in Pittsfield. We left home about 2:25 and met my mother-in-law at Barnes and Noble where she left her car and joined up with us. It’s a longer trip, and on those we usually ride together. The ride isn’t bad. It’s basically like driving to Hannibal except not as far. There are many rivers on the way to Nebraska. I think we counted about 8-10. None of them would take very long to swim across.

The longest would be the Mississippi at around 5-10 minutes, at least in the place we cross over on the bridge. Miles was asking if I’m just going to do this with strictly U.S. rivers or if I’d also do international ones. I hadn’t even thought about it, but the U.S. ones would be sufficient for me. He said I should at least plan to include the Euphrates and the Jordan. I don’t know anything about the land or rules over there.

After arriving we met up with the kids. Our high school son rode the bus because he decided he wanted to join the team after all. The coach said he’s on the roster to run in the second Lincoln park meet on Saturday. That’s the hardest course they run so an interesting one to start out with. They have a JV race so he’s entered with Logan which I was glad for that option. The old coach quit so it’s one of the teachers.

Elianna wanted to medal because she’s medaled every race here. Top ten get medals and on the second loop three of the LuHigh girls were 8,9, and 10. By mid point they always look like they’re struggling. Beforehand I told Elianna I’ll love her no matter what place she gets and she said that makes it sound like I don’t believe in her or think she can do it. We have to be honest to our truest selves and so I said what I said.

The group of girls finished 8th, 10th, and 12th, and she had her medal. I was happy she did. I was there to see the finish but Dad is the one who meets them all at the finish line. I need to give them space and time before I am able to get closer because it hurts me too much to see them that spent. Running is a very emotional sport. It’s the only sport where I will cry or get choked up for whatever odd reason.

Before the boys race I saw a friend. We’re not as close as we used to be but here and there we still can connect with the basics. I asked if the divorce was official now, as it’s been a very long process of over two years with this or that delay for this or that reason, mostly because she did not go down willingly. We stood there, still, and I said it’s still a shock. We wiped away tears. Never will this ever seem like something that

The hardest part for me is feeling like this was overcomeable. I say this as someone who’s been through marriage counseling at least three different times. Some more time, the right help, I do believe they could have done it. That’s the part he and I do not understand. There has to be some missing piece, some information we do not know, it doesn’t make sense to us the way it is, the way this had to end at all.