The boys and I went for a walk after school. On the way away from the house one of them asked if I was in a bad mood. I said, no, I was just wanting to get going on our walk. I’d kind of announced it that we were going, or maybe I asked them, I don’t remember. But one went into the garage for something, then another into the office once the one had come back, and then Lauren came out and talked for a while.

We found Casper by the first aid cabin. I call him Dipstick sometimes now. It’s kind of a cute name for him because he’s so cute. He followed us down the hill and waited in the shade for us to turn around. Sometimes the boys think they need to slow down and wait for him, but he will run and catch up once we’re walking away. We walked up to main camp and then down to the beach and back up the path to the house again.

Dad was home eating lunch. Oh hi, I said, startled, having forgotten he said he’d be home around one. He mows a lot in the fall until the weather turns cooler. I almost felt mad about it thinking someone else could be doing that, but he wouldn’t be doing it if he didn’t love, or even need it somehow. I would’ve made something for him but he had already made it, a replication of the grilled ham and cheese I’d made yesterday.

There was a slight alteration. An elder at church had told everybody to use mayonnaise on the outside instead of butter. I’m sure eating it is fine but it grosses me out to think of so I didn’t make it that way. I told the boys they need to be eating apples with their lunches. It’s more fiber for their systems and everyone just needs to be eating more fruits and vegetables anyway. I have no idea what I ate or if I did. I can’t remember.

If school could be longer, I’d let it. It’s never worked to have too much to do in the afternoon. Sometimes in the middle of the afternoons I will miss them. And I will go down to where they are and say, “Boys…”, my quiet thoughts trailing off. They are watching something or playing with something, but always attentive to my presence. Today they went with Dad to clean the range space and then to Grandma’s to work.