By Friday this feels like an atypical week. Monday was a holiday so we didn’t have school. Tuesday I worked so I wasn’t here for school. Wednesday I was cleaning and Thursday we were cleaning too. This morning I had to be at the Thrive center from 9-12 but it only ended up being until 11. There were three cancellations and two no-shows for the recovery group. My schedule has felt fairly sporadic this month.

Since I am getting so many group hours at Contact, I’m not really worried about group hours here. I actually prayed about going today because I feel like there’s potential for things to be awkward. Sometimes like today there really isn’t a group or another time I was late or the groups were small. I do not want to be a disappointment for this person. Today I met the other intern who started there back in January.

He’s going to start working there once he graduates in May. It was nice to hear from another student and talk school things. According to him the class I need to take next semester is a breeze. I’m learning people complete this program in all kind of ways. He started in 2019, took a break to get another master’s degree in exercise science or something like that, and now is going back to school to finish this degree.

For a moment I was deeply regretting signing up here. “Oh it’s just one morning a week”, is fine when there are no other mornings I’m doing other outside things. Ethan is here this weekend and there was a part of me that wanted to show him how awesome I’m doing with homeschool, where it wasn’t me gone while they fended for themselves and did their hour of school (It’s always shorter when I’m gone).

I still get that feeling like I want to make something up to him, like I can somehow make up for the time we lost when he was home. Wherever the ball is that I dropped I want to pick it up and play with him and never be too occupied or distracted again. I’ve given up on talking, that doesn’t seem to be the way. Anymore I’m just content to be in the same room. On our walk Josh and I stopped and joined their ball game until dark.

So back to the internship place–I still like it. Since there was no group the supervisor showed me the computer system. He said he didn’t expect me to remember it all right then he was just going to show me. I also learned several practical things about starting to build a client base. This is the part that makes me nervous but also that I am anxious to start on. I want to see how it goes, if I like the job, if I can do this.

But I came away encouraged and sort of excited about the prospects. I was considering for a while this afternoon what I want my niche to be. I am having trouble collecting thoughts in this particular moment. The living room is loud with brothers hitting each other with pillows and Dad and Elianna and done watching their Batman movie. We had a nice supper tonight and enjoyed some good table conversations about things.