I’m sleepy today after a night of rainfall. The boys woke up and thought it’d be a good day to miss school. I was working on my handout for the morning Zoom call I had scheduled. They know they don’t have to try to hard to get me to give into them but I do at least make them give me some reasons. Instead of school we could bake. The one went and brought some cookbooks into the living room. I know when it’s over that these are the moments I will cry over missing.

They worked at the table while I had my meeting. We compromised on two subjects, which I learned when I asked another what school subjects they’d done. Bible and Science. In science they’re learning about the stars and it’s kind of confusing he said. I said “Ooo, I will have to look at your book.” I want to read what it says. He doesn’t understand how the big dipper is supposed to be a bear. We still do Social Studies together but the Science and Math fell away.

I told them we could make Irish soda bread, which did not require yeast or a trip to the store. We’d have results in time to be done by lunch when Dad could also enjoy the creation. It’s normally a St. Patrick’s Day thing but Halloween works too. I agree with them and understand where they’re coming from, that those times when the weather turns inspire you to do something different and celebrate the occasion. I’m trying to be present but also am texting with Miles’ mother.

Josh got a text last night with a prayer request for one of the homeschool community families they know. A high school aged daughter had been diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer and was having emergency surgery today. A mom of four from Hoyleton was diagnosed with stage 4, and again I’m not understanding any of this. We mixed the flour and tablespoon of baking soda and goat kefir for buttermilk. I read them directions as they kneaded the dough on the table.

Now I’m resting in bed, still able to see leaves from here. I could make a career out of fasting and prayers, or at least live a full life taken up with them. Dad comes in to pick out a book for his afternoon nap which I am proud that he takes. Before he leaves I ask the question, if he can make me some tea. He brings it back. Do I want the heat on or windows open he asked me earlier when he was back after his morning leadership class. Windows open, I said, not ready to close them.