“When they heard these things they fell silent. And they glorified God, saying, ‘Then to the Gentiles also God has granted repentance that leads to life.”
~Acts 11:18~

I read somewhere recently that the decade of your 40’s is the old age of youth and the 50’s decade is the youth of old age. I like that. It sure does feel that way at times especially when I consider our past Decembers leading up to Christmas. I’ve jokingly said “I’m failing Advent this year”, but haven’t necessarily felt it deeply. In years past I definitely have, feeling like the time is rushing by but without nearly enough of it.

And then you wonder, “Am I tired? Is it laziness? Just a difference in priorities?”, while you’re trying to figure out why exactly you’re more okay with not having a tree yet or turning the house over into Christmas. I haven’t really found the answer, but the old age in your forties felt like something to do with it. The stranger thing to me is that the kids seem to be okay with it too.

Like do they not miss the joy? It was such a big deal to move that tree along the calendar lines, marking the days each morning as they passed. I haven’t bought a single gift, but there is always the relief in knowing Grandma is already on it and that they essentially have two major Christmas Day openings. My aunts have sent us money for as long as I can remember and I thought about doing that for nieces and nephews.

It’s not like I didn’t know that family was important or that Jesus was the ultimate reason for the season. Those two things are what made it so good. I think of Christmas and Jesus’ birth being tied to our joy and Easter and his resurrection being tied to our hope. The angels to the shepherds came with tidings of joy. It’s like anytime a baby is born. We know that it’s special.

Just like anytime a person dies we know that it’s sad. I have this tendency to want to relive the past, like to right now go out and buy the lighted candy canes for the hallway. I loved those so much. But there are joys that come in new seasons too, like it’s not even that I need the permission to let it change. I need the grace and the vision to be ok with something different while still resting deeply in the truths that never change.