The boys took the Christmas tree outside and burned it. It’s wonderful having children who help with so many chores and they do so without complaint or resistance. After that they burned boxes while the bigger kids finished up with the dishes. The bigger kids have had spirit week and have another dance tomorrow evening. Miles has an indoor track meet over in Jacksonville that we want to go to if the times work out.

I was back at the Thrive Center again in the morning and stayed somewhat into the afternoon for a few more hours. The time goes by fast. Everything is downloaded onto my computer now so I spent some time playing around with it and getting used to the layout. The mood was much better than things had been yesterday but I still can’t help but out of place in the setting. Besides the other intern who I had intercession class with, none of these people are people I talk with outside of this building.

There’s this whole other life that is lived by these people where they go to meetings and dinners and retreats and it’s all centered around recovery from alcohol. I find it hard to relate to just how much a substance can have such a pull on your life, and yet there’s this community element to it of which I almost feel envious. They leave group in the morning and will see each other at the 5:15 meeting or the weekend trauma retreat.

I’m sure I’m romanticizing some of it. I wish I could just do a session where we put everyone on the floor for a solid hour of mat and breathwork. This seriously is the way to reprogram your mind and least it was one of the ways for me. But I just do not have that kind of boldness right now to put myself out there or to assume that what worked for one person is what would also work for everyone. By work I mean help.

Today I did feel much better. I came home and warmed up soup and then went to bed for a nap but ended up trying to get caught up with my hour logs. I’ve been minorly obsessed with the Trump women lately and have found myself watching YouTube shorts and interviews with Kai, Melania, and Ivanka but this too shall pass. I was missing baby Zorro when I saw a picture of him small. I had these babies once that I’m missing.