I would really like to hope by now that people understand that when I use a word like “plans” that I am doing so very loosely. For now I’m still over here going in early to alphabetize files in a secluded room in the Contact basement. After that I went upstairs to where Alexis was already waiting in the side room. We talked together with a boy who’d been written up at school. We created an activity called “pushing your buttons”.

She’s thinking about just staying with Contact now and not trying to bother with working at Memorial. I don’t care what she does but I’d rather her stay and keep on with the second evening. I think our supervisor might be getting in trouble because one of the faculty members keeps trying to email her. I learned today that Alexis is the president of some kind of honors program for graduate students. She’s also a graduate assistant and is pretty close with the faculty members.

So it’s all kind of making a little more sense. She started out in a nursing program but knew it wasn’t for her when they got to the part of giving bed baths to dummies. We talked about that feeling and experience you have when you deeply know that this is what you love doing. She had an experience like that last week, while she was meeting with a mom. Something happens here where you start to belong and feel at home.

We’re supposed to be getting an hour of supervision each week. It was one of my goals this semester to be more proactive about this. Weeks would go by without me stopping downstairs but if I did stop by then for the most part she could talk. The woman is busy and I understand that. The Thrive situation is different where you get supervision easily and he’s the one who initiates. I use the word fantastic and mean it, he’s that good. There are those people who want and have to teach.

But he is human too and so I do get frustrated, or scared that I am somehow not seeing things right. I changed my question to “What are the chances of me getting 2-3 more people by the end of the month?” He said it’s not unrealistic but make sure my calendar is up-to-date. We have to mark the times when we’re available for booking. So I did that, but I don’t know, I’ll believe it when I see it. I feel like this whole thing is driving me nuts.