There was another cancellation today at Thrive. The guy who originally rescheduled for Valentine’s Day called that morning and cancelled. I was actually relieved because it meant I still had a little more time before I’d actually have to technologically navigate that clunky assessment. The one I was supposed to meet with today I’ve never met with but I know him. We were set up by the supervisor so I could get some individual hours.

Which was not exactly how I wanted getting those individual hours to go. The other person I’m seeing now is also from group. We didn’t meet last week because of the assessment that got cancelled. This week the supervisor is leaving for almost a week and wouldn’t be there on Friday. That man called last week and cancelled for snow is the one who cancelled today again. I was relieved to not have to leave the boys again.

I’d forgotten about this camp trip when I was filling out my schedule. Josh is gone. Lauren is gone. Schneipp who works at another Lutheran camp now is also gone. So I don’t like leaving them alone out here by themselves. Even more so with the dog who on rare occasions has had them come find me for incidents involving blood. The track phone wasn’t working so I called Ethan and asked if he could talk to them on Discord.

And if they needed something then they could text me. The Seward kids didn’t have school today because of the weather. It was -9 yesterday and they cancelled classes. Today it was -4 and they had classes. I guess that five degrees made enough difference. Last night Elianna and I download Discord on my phone and then added her and the boys as friends. It’s such a weird looking icon that now is now part of my home screen.

I was finally having enough angst about this group and cancellation Thrive stuff that I wrote an email last week expressing my thoughts, anxiety, and insecurity. So we scheduled a meeting to talk about it more which was yesterday. Jane and Kyle have been here a month and they already each have somebody real. Long story short, it isn’t me, it’s the way things have shaken out so far. If something is meant to be, it will come.

I had a wonderful session last night with a woman at Contact. I’ve been meeting with her for about four months and she is one I’ve regularly used for my videos. Last night I set up the camera, then thought, “You know what? I am not going to exploit this woman.” I was going to show her that I really cared about her and didn’t need to film anything. It was one of the best we’ve ever had and would’ve been perfect for my grid.

I told the boys I didn’t have to go in today. For school they made a schedule, trying to get out of doing work but also trying to eliminate the morning question, “What books are we doing for school today?” I was doing some journal writing when one of them asked, “What would we do if the water cycle was suddenly halted?” I said we’d pray to God and ask for mercy. It’s what they did in the days of Elijah or someone like that.