“We need to address the site abandonment issue.” The words sting and bring tears. I knew I was kind of going out on a limb when I texted my Contact supervisor asking if I could meet with two women from the emergency shelter when I came in later this week to meet with her. One of the faculty members had gone in to talk to her and when the issue came up about me leaving the site she was not aware this had happened.

I said before (and then deleted) how I’m used to dutifully (and resentfully) being the crazy person in these scenarios. I do actually miss Contact with its predictable liveliness and chaos. I miss the ease with which I had access to people, or the feeling like I must really be this trustworthy person to just be given such free reign with such a vulnerable population. It sure takes a special person to be some place like this, I told myself.

Sigh. So all of that is still an issue. I’m just silently praying (as in feeling a small internal desire somewhere), that the relationship I had with this person, and maybe even this facility, can somehow be salvaged, even if it is only to part on good terms, and bonus if there could also be mutual understanding. It’s a tall order in today’s world wherever people are involved. It doesn’t mean one won’t ever feel sad or sick over things.