“I thought you said you slept well last night”, he said, peeking in the bedroom door while taking a break from the mowing. “I did”, I said back, “but I’m completely depleted.” We said nothing more as he continued into the bathroom and I turned back over in my cocoon of blankets. I worked a nine hour shift on Sunday and was home by 8PM.

The day before I’d worked the evening shift. All of that combined with the care of Zorro plus the track meet had sent to the place where I am tingling all over. It’s the weirdest thing and I can’t describe it. It’s like my body is holding a charge but somehow needs to release it, and does with this shaking and twitching in my shoulders, hips, and legs.

The chiropractor used to try and pull some of it out–the energy. He never made me weird when I told him these things. Zorro is doing better and I don’t mean care of him physically, rather the stress of this giant animal being impaired and the worry. He wants to act like he’s normal but we’re supposed to be discouraging much use of his leg.

So I am glad he’s feeling better. I rested for a couple of hours until it was time to go into Thrive. I have one new client who I’ve been seeing a few weeks. The other person I saw is currently struggling with a cocaine addiction and did not show up today to finish her assessment. I had my doubts when she was jittery and had previously cancelled twice.

I want to just tell him that I’m staying for good. Unless there is some major thing I’m not seeing this feels like the place where I am wanting to learn from. I don’t get the client thing, not after hearing so many stories of all these waiting lists and this supposed mental health crisis. I thought people would be like lining up in droves to be counseled.

Alexis landed a position at a private practice in town. They supposedly have this wait list where she gets to go through it and call people and set up appointments. I told my supervisor about this waitlist and asked him if we could somehow network with them to get them to send clients here. Kyle’s two people stopped coming and he’s 2 hours short.

He said the woman who owns that business used to work here and stole his name. I tell you, you stay at a place long enough and you learn all kinds of crazy things. Nothing happened with the chiropractor, I just outgrew the appointments both in need and in cost. You pay $110 for hopefully ten minutes of his time. It was technically 12 but still.

I want to do bodywork in my office, with a yoga ball in the corner, and a dream catcher dangling from the ceiling. The boys told me on the way to Nebraska I was going too far with the YouTube chakra sound frequencies. When you’re desperate you truly will try anything and I don’t know if I believe them. It’s what I listened to and played for hours.