“…keep yourselves in the love of God…”
~Jude 21~

I’ve been struggling with my ability to write and then leave it which is why this is going to be my third attempt at saying something. They say you can only take people as deep as the healing that you have personally gone through and I feel like the same applies to writing and interacting. I watch a video and someone points out how the client mentions at least two different feeling words which I proceed to gloss right over.

Where it’s kind of like, yeah, okay, it makes sense that you’re feeling that but what’s the point of exploring it? It does all seem terribly self-absorbed and repetitive. There is that element to which we become numb to our feelings or anyone else’s to the point that we do not even realize they’re there. Am I saying I’m numb right now, no, but you can just be so caught up with life that there isn’t the luxury of sitting down to process things.

I’m at the point with my house where the solution seems none other than to move or burn it down. To spend any more time cleaning it seems like a most unproductive use of my time. And yet that is what I am turning to do, somewhere wanting and looking forward to even. I could blame every cat, creature, and human for this state and I would not be wrong. But why the tears now? It’s because I know somewhere I have no choice.