“…To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins with his blood and made us a kingdom…”
~Revelation 1:5-6~

“Mom was gracious and kind and I respect the way she lived her life.” I don’t know, I still want something like this to be said about me. I guess it’s changed a little. Once you get with Jesus though who really cares? I have this picture of myself that I feel is in there, that I know is in there, and yet I still keep waiting for someone to see it and say it–around here. Out in the world I haven’t had the same problems.

If it comes it’s nice, but it isn’t something I need or even think about wanting. There’s the kind of quiet you are when you’re mad and they’ve seen that enough times. Then there’s the kind of quiet you are when you’re content and at peace. They still think I look mad then because something really happens where your faces freezes and the lines are not going back. I see it every day in the mirror and its hard to love.

I had this video review at Thrive and purposely didn’t dress up. I have no idea how the lighting from his window hit my face in that 50 minutes as I sat across from his desk, if it made things more visible or less. I’ve wanted to ask a couple of times, “Can you just tell me from a man’s perspective, do you think I’m beautiful at all?” But then I’ve thought that this is really just me being greedy. The answer isn’t my care.