It’s been a whirlwind couple of days and today was no different. I spent the night at the hospital last night overlooking the sixth floor window. He actually had a great view of the night. He was much more tired by the time I got up there, after coming back to pack once baccalaureate was over. They can’t watch the patients as close on those floors.

I left in the morning once the surgeon’s nurse had been in and he’d been up for x-ray and eaten some breakfast. Josh and Elianna were up and the first thing I did was make some breakfast and drink coffee. I showered and rested for a while in bed. Elianna was in the office finishing up some final additions to her graduation speech which Josh wrote for her. She’s been dreading having to make this speech for several years.

I was hurt that I hadn’t been more involved in the process. This apparently had been their thing that they had talked about for years. I thought that I had been part of the whole speech writing topic/situation too, since I recall multiple times it’s come up in the past. My hurt over this at one point had turned into something it didn’t need to be.

It’s hard for me to be able to listen and not to want also to have my story told. But I’m accepting that this is an issue of mine where my hurt gets in the way of giving others their chance. And you can’t just assume that other people are like you and experience and process things in the same way. You have to learn how love gets to the person and understand that your infirmities and weaknesses also suck and can/do hurt people.

Graduation went well and afterward we went to Chili’s for lunch with the kids and both of our moms. Elianna had her medallion on and her graduation cap. She wore the dress I wore four years ago for Judah’s confirmation when I had lost so much weight. Josh’s dad would’ve loved to be there and we enjoyed soaking up another passing moment.