Today I tackled a small project in the camp office. I cleaned off a shelf set and the drawers underneath to try and create some order in that space. They have stuff in there from 20-30 years ago and it just becomes the catch all for papers and people’s donations. Someone was cleaning out their dad’s house and donated an entire garbage bag worth of surge protectors and extension cords. I was pleased with the results.

The boys are working on finishing up Pilgrim’s Progress. It was one of those things I always wanted to do with the kids so I decided it was now or never and chose to do it with some of them. I’m pretty fatigued from the past several days so spent the rest of the morning resting until it was time to go into Thrive for my appointments. One woman has been getting progressively sicker so we did our session over the phone.

I hope she’ll be well enough to get back in soon. She has a lot going on. The younger man I’m seeing is someone I’m still finding it hard to relate to. I just feel somewhere like we’re not connecting and it’s one of those things where there’s nothing standing out as clear. I just feel so eager to get back there and continue practicing. I want to do legitimate healing work and therapy with people. It’s amazing to me all the needs.

The kids and I went and visited the hospital this evening. We brought cupcakes and balloons. I still get that itch whenever I’m walking through the hospital. I feel at home and my mind starts turning. Maybe I could just shadow in the ICU to learn. Or maybe I could work a cardiac floor like this, the 8+ patients each would be unpleasant but doable. Heck I could just throw myself into it and get an ER job and start the IV’s.

But I don’t think I ever could or would want to. It’s too much and too physical, and too incomplete for what I’m wanting out of life now. There’s too much depth you cannot go into in those places as important and useful as they still are. Nursing was like the first love that will always be part of me. Whatever I’m doing now, I haven’t found a word I fully like, it’s been like this unexpected and deeper love that is only still beginning.

On the way home from the hospital I was told that one of the local Lutheran teachers was arrested yesterday for domestic battery. I looked it up and sure enough there it was, his picture and hers as actual mug shots. Of course my mind, in addition to being mildly stunned, went crazy again–I could reach out to them, I could help them. I don’t know if this is one of those assignments or not. There are people who know things.