Stuffing your feelings isn’t healthy for people. Last week in group this girl started crying and when she did I wanted to cry too. I would have but stopped it, or stuffed it rather, and it hurt to do so. I’ve been trying to better about when I’m feeling hurt about something that doesn’t have to be something to take a deep breath and blow out the energy instead of absorbing it. You can speak it to yourself (I’m mad, etc) and let it go.

It was mostly an internship day. I met with Jane’s client for the scheduled hour and then drove around with Jane while she explained to me more about why she was leaving. I don’t have enough experience in the outside/professional world to know if there really are such things as toxic environments or if life is just a mixture of hard things and better things. I brought it up in class in the afternoon asked what others thought.

As in, was there anyone who was just having an awesome clinical experience? Everyone kind of smirked and chuckled. But it led to a good discussion and I did somehow feel better. I told them how I was kind of bored at my site and how at this point I feel the ball should be rolling faster. After Jane dropped me off I sat downstairs and kept myself busy for an hour and a half waiting for the desk girl to get there at noon like planned.

At 12:25 I just left and went home. I took a nap which I definitely needed. I felt this freedom in driving away, even though I’d just told him in the morning that I would be there until 2:30 and work with the desk girl till it was time to go to class. Then I would come from class back for the evening group. I’ve been to the evening group once before because there have always been conflicts with track/cross country meets and Contact.

I talked with a student about picking up a secondary site at Gateway. It’s the substance abuse rehab place where I had originally tried to go for my practicum with Lincoln. I was going to do outpatient groups until school asked me to go somewhere else because another student was having problems getting proper supervision. I know I tend to get this way every so often. Group supposedly has two new people so we’ll see how it goes.