There are certain times that bring to mind specific failures as a parent. This preparation with the wedding is definitely one of those times. I was telling one of the kids this evening that I am sorry for not giving them a better example of married life. Not in everything, but in certain things I know we failed. I know I have failed as a mother and when I talk about failing, I mean like the words we say in the confession during church.

That I have sinned against these people in thought, word, and deed, by what I have done and by what I have left undone, etc. It’s a tough pill to swallow as I not only do experience the fruits of my labors I have given toward motherhood, but I also experience the sting of the results of my accumulated shortcoming. It has to happen this way. Living as sinners in the fallen world like we do, there is no other way to know.

I have a stack of reasons why I could be bitter. I’m realizing bitterness isn’t something I’m working at this point to prevent. Rather it’s something that has been there and I am only now seeing it more clearly. I know God is already to working to remove this transgression and that even the ability to see our need for him is a gift from his hand. Again I started praying that I could course correct my life, that it was not too late for me.