Beck you’ve probably never been in a frat house?

I haven’t but according to my brother that’s apparently what our downstairs bathroom looked like. I didn’t get to cleaning it before they came over and halfway through the week when we were in town I wanted to stop by Target and get some cleaning supplies to clean the bathrooms. I hadn’t even been down there, but he picked me out some toilet bowl cleaner and comet tub powder. I picked out a new liner and shower curtain.

It still had the Christmas one up from a couple of years ago, maybe only two now, I don’t know. I know I cleaned the tub at some point because it still had my tub powder that Miles mom had given to me. But either way, we spent the afternoon cleaning the bathroom and boy did it need it. This used to be one of the cleaning spots that one of the kids had every week which worked for a while but things just get let go sometimes.

So it looks so much better now. I was just so happy that he helped me clean it. It’s what I want the whole house to look like but you have to take things in seasons. Before that we’d gone out to breakfast and after that I made them supper. It rained most of the day so the camp kids did some of their activities outside. I felt so motivated from cleaning that I cleaned the mudroom floor but after that I thought that was enough for today.

We had our first day of internship class today. I was ready to go back and I like my new group. Alexis is in there along with other people I’ve met from the program. Two of the people were supposed to have graduated but failed a test or a presentation. Another one had worked to get things done to graduate early but the school changed that policy in the middle of things for him so now he has to wait until the spring for graduation.

One of the guys in there is all about honesty and vulnerability with his feedback. We had to set “class expectations” where we all discuss and come up with a plan for what the group rules for our class and interactions. I like it because it feels like negotiation within a relationship where you know what your needs are and your wants are and are able to express them ahead of time. It’s just the ways you adapt and learn to do things.

He likes to be the “black hat” and be the constructive criticism giver. Last time I was with him he told me I could have more confidence. I’m kind of tired of hearing that now so I’m going to try to be better with my sessions and figure out what that means. I really enjoyed the one I had on Monday and felt like it was a successful session and most of all a helpful one. When it was done it felt as though I hadn’t spent any energy at all.

Like nothing had left me. Today though I was completely exhausted and ended up taking three different naps. I think that had more to do with the walking, rebounding, and paddle boarding with my sister and brother. So that was probably too much but it still was fun and felt good. Today they took a day trip down to see my parents. My dad is recovering and doing physical therapy and mom is taking care of him and the garden.

They came back tonight and we went to chapel. There was a storm blowing but it was only the wind. You couldn’t hear the girl giving the devotion. I thought it so strange how your job as mom becomes obsolete. They no longer need you. I know we have different jobs as things change but it was truly an odd realization. I saw the backs of their heads and some were still sitting next to me but it was okay not to walk them home.

I haven’t had much to say as of late. My brain is tired, my body is tired, and those two things tend to slow down the words. My soul isn’t tired but stops to wait on the others.

We have visitors again this week. A few weeks ago I sent out a message to the sisters I knew where coming and asked if anyone could spare some time or energy to help me with a cleaning project. They were to do but when the time comes for them to be here it’s like I know they are tired and have things happening too. Someday it will be cleaner.

I have relief from the basement revamp because the girls aren’t going to use it as a bridal suite anymore. I did start writing my book(let) for Ethan so that was a positive.

I threw away my chakra book that I bought at Gypsy Soul last Thursday. This is the second time in recent years that I’ve bought a book like this and pitched it. Something about it makes me doubt or gives me a feeling that I shouldn’t be reading it, or am starting to give too much clout to Eastern philosophies.

The chakras are known as energy wheels that reside in ascending parts of the body. I like them because they provide a memorable, colorful, and easy-to-understand framework of the various internal levels of self-belief, as in, beliefs about the self. I’ve described it before like a map for the psyche, albeit a very basic one.

True enlightenment will manifest in physical change. Enlightenment is embodied and will not remain in your head or “up there” in the clouds of the collective unconscious. This is why Christianity is the perfect religion. We have spiritual unity with a physical being and as so we become like God, whole and divine.