For whatever reason I’ve been struggling more mentally. When I get like this it can seem like there’s no way out, like nothing I’ve done has worked, etc, etc. They say you’re supposed to reach out, ask for what you need, do not isolate, etc, etc. I tried my sisters. I tried my husband. I tried my daughter and that was it. So then I tried my mom because she knows when I’m calling her it’s because I’m down and actually do need some help.

So I told her my woes and she confirmed that this wasn’t discontentment, that the need and desire for change is part of life and growth. As I’ve been coming into my therapy self I’m discovering my belief that it’s good to have both long-term and short-term goals. You need the results in the moment to keep you motivated, and you need the space in the long run to open things up for change and deeper healing and functioning.

She ordered me a little machine for area rugs and upholstery. And then she gave me some inspiration on how to rearrange my current entryway space so that the milk crates are in the bottom for shoes, and that the bench from Grandma’s entryway, the bench that nobody could currently sit on can go somewhere else to be used. We had our 45 minutes of cleaning, to happen mostly daily til things are back to a better place.