We went to Lowe’s this evening because one of the boys had a gift card. I know I keep saying this, because it’s very close to the front of my mind, but there remains an awareness of the passing of time and how I am spending it. Something has shifted in my mind as well where when I am home on the weekends I tend to as well be aware of the clock and where I would be in relation to work departure times and work tasks.

If this was my weekend, I’d have to leave in two hours. If I was at work right now, I’d only be two hours in, I’d just be finishing my suppertime med pass, I’d still be there for another two hours when I am climbing into bed. It wasn’t always like this. But it feels like the time is approaching to ask my boss if I can change up my schedule. Something where I can work during the days and less during time when everybody is home.

The entry way of the store was full of Christmas decorations. Two of the boys turned right to go look at the tools. Only one stayed with me, still interested in the lights. If I had a million dollars I could buy all of it and create a Christmas wonderland. Dad came in from his phone call and we walked around, him helping me look for the now empty sofa slip cover section. Later we all went back and made pizza. It was a very nice time.