I’m loving walking out into the sea of orange lately.

It was kind of an emotional day at school. As the days are winding down I’m feeling somewhat overwhelmed with the totality of all that has happened throughout this time. I had a meeting with the faculty supervisor before class. We’re required to meet at least twice a semester and this was the second time. My wish for this meeting was to go through my grid materials to get feedback so I could perfect it as much as possible.

And when I opened up my power point that I hadn’t looked at since the summer, I realized two things. The first was that it still needed some work. The second was that I really didn’t care anymore about getting a 4 and it being exemplary. It felt like an old goal that I had had to abandon, out of necessity, yes, but also because of the filling in of other goals. Like being present for my family. Like being less self-critical and driven.

There was a piece of feedback that stood out to me from my latest video. I had been imagining the client’s coming out of addiction to be including at least a heavy part of moving through the grief process. A former alcoholic spoke up about my wording. Instead of focusing on the need to acknowledge how much giving up alcohol sucks, he wondered if it might be helpful to focus instead on all she is gaining now with a sober life.