The desk girl at Thrive is quitting at the end of the semester. She’s starting another job that will give her more experience related to nursing. He mentioned it a few weeks ago and I asked him nothing more about it. We’re supposed to be switching software systems in January to a simpler one that is completely web based. I have my own login and password there. I have my own email there. I have my own key to the building.

So why this isn’t just a complete no-brainer in terms of decision making I really don’t know. I came home from being there and went straight to my bed and cried. Josh came in and asked what was wrong. I started to say something like being frustrated that I can’t just make up my mind, that I can’t just know what I’m doing. But there was something deeper that came out instead. I said it’s because I am losing my freedom.

And boy did the gut feel it then with wrenching sobs. Transitions are hard, he said. They are, I said back. In supervision I’d asked if there were any new students starting up next semester. He said there maybe was one, but that he was also really thinking not to have students anymore. It is a lot of time, unpaid, and we can be awfully needy at times. Those were my words not his. I stopped short of telling him he was a good teacher.