I’m still trying to wrap my mind around everything that’s happened. “I just can’t believe I’m done”, I said to my husband while crying into my pillow. “Done with what?”, he asked, and I could hardly believe it. “Oh my gosh, man. Done with school”, I said. He said he was trying to keep track of my leap-frogging thoughts. I’d heard my son’s voice out in the living room and it sounded like Ethan, and I started to cry.

Josh had just been talking about the circuit visitors, one of whom is Laura’s dad. I was telling him too that I wasn’t going to go to church tonight after all. I was too exhausted, and just have given up on trying to understand the resistance. After the first of the year he will be done there and we can begin a new chapter, one that includes him not being a pastor for at least a year. These vacancies will just have to wait.

My boss just texted me saying she has to give me a first corrective action because I am so behind on my Relias requirements. I literally laughed out loud and then laughed some more. I told her I could come in next week to get done with them. I am also needing to cut back on my hours there and change up my schedule. I just haven’t been able to go through with it because this job has been so helpful for now.

I didn’t end up wearing the beige sweater and heart earrings. Instead I wore a grey sweater with orange ones. The heart ones felt like a little too much and I decided to save those for just a day in the office. I did wear them last night. I had my last internship class with the cohort and then my last foundations class after that. I am going to write my professor an email. I wouldn’t have been able to say it all then.

I did tell my Thrive professor today that he was a good teacher, and that it even went beyond that, that he had reached the level of sage. Arya and I are going to be his last cohort of internship students. He wants to be able to focus more energies on his retreats, maybe even doing them twice a year. I wish he could see that I am on the same mystic levels, that I could do a breakout session or lead one with him.

But for this moment I truly am content and grateful.