Today was a productive day, even if it got off to a slow start. The boys have finals this week and we decided to reinstate the family Y membership. For a while it’s just been me and the older kids but now all of us are on there again. We were there for about an hour doing our own workout things. I’d hardly consider what I did as a workout. I did the arm straps that hang from the wall, the recumbent bike, and walked for a while.

We heard of a pastor’s family going through some serious difficulties. This put a damper on the day. I’ve said this before, but there’s the age of weddings when people marrying. Then there is time of babies and more babies and child rearing. Now there is this age of people divorcing or separating or having decades of problems demanding solutions. This seems to be the path that most of us are on unless somehow God intervenes.

I saw an Instagram post from a man who was known for his writings on manhood and strength. Some of his most popular posts were about marriage and helping women understand men and vise versa. He’s been MIA for over a year after being infrequent in his posting due to a serious illness he could find no cure for. His return post included the story of how God has healed him, and the processing of his wife filing for divorce.

At the end he mentions how he’s seeing someone new, a person he reconnected with that he knew from his teen years. And even though all of this has been terrible and his own kind of hell and humbling, he’s the happiest he’s ever been. I’m glad that those stories exist for some people. The first spouse is often the unfortunate guinea pig and receptor of all of the immaturity and stupidity of the two who have never done this.

I say all this openly. I just feel like there has to be room for the stories of the people who learned and made it work, who found happiness and friendship in their personal and romantic lives without it causing confusion and disappointment for many others. I want marriage to actually make me holy, and not have it be the place for my absolute worst shown sins and behaviors. The path is difficult and long but I am not giving up.