Would you believe that after all of that with my grid, I never even got to see what my grade was? He never posted it. The only feedback I received was when we were going around saying things that we appreciated about our classmates. He said he appreciated how I leaned in and made a genuine effort. How I could’ve just done done my grid and gotten by and been fine. I appreciated him noticing and saying that because I did try.

So I guess that’ll be enough. The greater lesson was not in getting or achieving the grade. I stood up and spoke and explained how I’d been waiting all semester for the perfect video clip to show of my theory. How I felt like I would know it when I saw it, that it would eventually come, and I would feel confident that this was it. But what happened instead was I had to take the footage I had, watch it again, and find the theory there.

And as much as I wanted to have that homerun moment that was wowing the masses, the kind of moment it seemed like other students did have with their videos, it didn’t happen, or if it did, I didn’t know. Instead I just stood up there and explained it all, this whole story. That the point of this was not wowing or being better, that this was where I was as my “self-in-process”. That it really was about the regular consistent moments.