This was my first weekend with my new schedule of no Sundays. I’m very glad I didn’t quit. Even though I could not imagine this being the kind of work I would have to do for the rest of my life, I don’t mind doing it every once in a while. I’m not sure what changed. I can feel overwhelmed at times by the multiplying needs, when there is not enough of me and there is no chance to take a break. You just keep going till it’s over.

It’s my second week of going to church intentionally and regularly. I promise this isn’t a futile search to find the perfect fit. But there is a part of me that knows that something is already going to be missing, at least in the churches around here I am familiar with. We were trying to figure out what it is. Passion seems like too immature of a word, but later in a reading commentating on C.F.W. Walther was the word “fervor”. That was it.

Or at least closer. It’s almost like people have been trained to be complacent, though I feel that is too harsh of a judgement. I know these are faithful people who want to live as part of a church. I want my kids to have strong Christian friends and I want too to have the same. In the past, to me, a friend looks like a peer. We are the same age and participate in similar activities. We see each other often and enjoy the other’s company.

The kids go back to school tomorrow. Tonight for our family activity the boys wrote thank you notes for Christmas presents. We sat around the table and I read most of the notes they wrote out loud. I like reading their words and saying how they did a good job. Next year, I said, they will take a turn to be the givers. There is a fun in giving others gifts and a virtue in turning our minds toward others. I will supply the means to do so.

Arya and I met for coffee earlier around lunchtime. It was her thought to get together over break and be joined by Alexis. Alexis wasn’t able to come due to family Christmas commitments. Both of them are 25. So we talked and exchanged stories and processed more about the program. I tried not to have it be just about Thrive or school or favorite perfume scents sold only at Target. There were other things too. India. Peace. Enough.