I had energy to clean for about 30 minutes. We pulled the chairs into the living room and the boys worked on decluttering. Dad volunteered to go pick up the paint color I’d found online that was supposed to be a creamy off-white to go with wood with red undertones. The boys helped wipe down baseboards in the kitchen and dining room with the warm soapy water. Another wiped down the sliding glass door windows.

I have that feeling that comes now when I’m doing something new and have to adjust. Elianna called this morning when I was in the middle of crying about the boys to see if I wanted to go to a concert this evening with her and my mother-in-law. They’d ended up finding cheap tickets. So I was excited to make plans for that even though I’ve been in bed for most of the day. This morning I caught myself starting to feel a little bit down.

And it was over the so called gaps that I perceive to be in my life. I have been adjusting for a while to life as is, and I do think it is possible to live a deep and fulfilling life. And not just possible but happening. Do I look around and see areas where there could probably be more? I do. But the last thing I am interested in spending my time on is missing out on the life that is right in front of me. I’ve got way better things to do.