The dining room is put back together. I went through all the mail and mopped the floor and pulled off most of the trim tape. This morning I went to Ross and found a fake plant for dining room table centerpiece. One time I asked for a cutting board and my mother in law bought me a solid wood board that is probably two inches thick. It’s so nice that I do not use it for cutting. Instead I use it as a table piece to go under the centerpiece.

I also shopped around for clothes. It’s just nice to have a new shirt or sweater or pair of sweater pants to wear around. I still have it in my head that I’m going to have an office at Thrive that I can turn into my personalized place to see clients. Alex is leaving at the end of the month which means one of the upstairs rooms will be open. That one has a lot more space. I just don’t know where else I would have that freedom to be weirder.

The other day when I was there I told him I still wanted to be there and that I still had ideas, I just wasn’t ready. I needed more experience and practice. One of the reasons I would sometimes start to think I shouldn’t stay there is because I didn’t like how being there affected my mind. Like surely this was a not a healthy way to be thinking.

I don’t know, I don’t feel like it’s as bad these days. The friend who we are going through the Unwanted book together ordered us the workbooks and delivered mine to me today. So I am looking forward to working through that with her, which I was doing to help her but probably I will get something out of it too. In Chapter one you’re supposed to be reflecting on your unwanted “sexual brokenness” and how it shows up for you.

I didn’t know what exactly to say except perhaps the limerent mind. That would be the unwanted behavior, the thing that is painful, stressful, and brings hardship. I’m not going to overthink it and everyone has their different things. I really feel like I’ve worked through most of this but it probably doesn’t hurt to have a refresher every once in a while. Hopefully that doesn’t sound like overkill. It’s good to know how people process.