If I could ask God for just one wish I would ask him to let me live the rest of my life healing people. That no more time would be wasted on sadness. That I would no longer be debilitated by my sufferings. Other wishes I have had in my life have become this one. That I would be known as a caring and kind person, who no one thought anything of other than to notice her meek demeaner. That I would evaporate into steam and air.

And somewhere those particles and molecules are dancing.

That I would be the one to hold the babies, to reach out my arms and say, “Here. I can take her. Let me hold her while you eat.” That the urge to neglect and disown would be the place where love is furthered. That another’s joy would become my party instead of a day to dig in deeper. That this would be the last time I ever see this hole this side of heaven. That I would live in the radical faith that Christ has healed and is the healer.