Monthly Archives: March 2022

Faces

We’re back to our it’s-still-winter-here weather. Yesterday’s temperatures peaked above 70 degrees. Today we’re hovering in the lower 40’s, with winds that feel bitter and harsh after yesterday’s warmth. The boys spent the morning with Dad outside. Tuesday and Thursday this week we had classes from one of the local schools come out for a morning sugar-tapping field trip. Josh took the parents, teachers, and kids down to the woods where the maple trees are. The boys stayed up by the fire, adding wood when needed and charged with the task of occasionally stirring the pot of boiling sap. I wasn’t completely comfortable leaving them like that, but if I were to wait until I was completely comfortable before I let them go again, all three of them would still be nursing at my breasts.

Sometimes this sharing of children creates conflict. While I have my adventurous side and want my kids to be free and have experiences, I also tend to be more protective and worry more it come to their safety. Dads don’t seem to worry as noticeably, or in the same ways. They have different ways of parenting their young and introducing them to the ways of the world. In a perfect world these differences create a vibrant life, an entire family and community of harmony and balance. Even in an imperfect world this oftentimes happens. But in an imperfect world, we have to hurt a little more.

I had a chiropractor appointment this morning. Right now I’ve only got one more scheduled on the calendar. There are things I’ve liked and haven’t liked, which maybe I’ll write more about another day, but there is something to be said about the hope and belief that you are being helped, particularly in times of great desperation. It’s not just the adjustments, but the insights that are gained through the regular interactions. You learn a lot about healthcare when becoming a patient, one of the things being that consistency of care within the provider-patient relationship is in its own way healing.

Ash Wednesday 2022

The boys and I went down to the lake again today. Right around lunchtime they asked about fishing. One of the boys got a fishing pole for his birthday. This led to another searching the garage for any kind of usable broken one. They asked me again through the window if they could pack their lunches and go fish. They had everything planned. I said they probably needed to find some worms first, thinking this might give me some more time to decide whether or not the answer to the fishing request was going to be yes.

On the way down the beach hill one of them said, “You just gonna tan, Mom?”, to which I replied, “Nah, I brought my homework to read.” In a way that made wonder what’d connected in his mind he then asked, “What if we get pulled into the water by a giant fish?”, to which without even thinking I said, “Eh, I’ll come and save you”, (though I’ve thought about it considerably since.) Thankfully the only saving that needed to happen was that of a bobber and line that got caught in a shore tree. Since I was the one in the most transition-able clothing who could also reach the tree, I pulled up my leggings, slipped into my sandals, and walked to the edge where the beach becomes water.

Since it was outside of the swimming area, I was not thrilled about the prospect of walking on the lake floor thick with months old leaves that were homes to who knows what. I said out loud, “Maybe we need to wait until we can get one of the boats…”, to which one of the boys and I realized nearly simultaneously that we could just get one of the kayaks out now. He and I walked up to the beach shed and carried the kayak back to the shore. He got in, fully clothed with shoes, and paddled himself over to the tree. He tried at first to use his knife but ended up having to break the branch with his hands. They fished for nearly two hours, didn’t catch anything, but also enjoyed the wide afternoon.