The last thing he said to me on Wednesday was something like, “On Monday I will have time to train you.” So I showed up in the morning thinking that might be what was going to happen but also understanding that things can change. I walked in and he asked if I had my tax papers, which I did, but I wanted to talk to him about that first. He said he wanted to talk to me about that too, that doing the 1099 is going to be a better deal.

The 1099 is the form we fill out to get paid for the clinical work. I haven’t been getting paid for that because 1) I wasn’t seeing enough people to make the paperwork hassle seem worth it, and 2) It doesn’t feel right to be getting paid for what doesn’t feel like all that much work. The balance is still very heavy in his direction where he is the one giving and I am the one, from my perspective, already being paid just from being there.

(I didn’t say that)

So now I don’t have to worry about desk work because he hired an 18-year old nursing student who used to work for him two years ago. She is apparently brilliant and very organized. So that was a relief to me because the whole thing was causing me too much anxiety. Yes I could’ve learned it, but in the meantime I will just focus on not slacking and developing better habits with the Compulink software and the charting processes.

Because at some point I’m not going to have the student excuse. So instead of learning how to do daily reports I brought up my issues, which basically went fine until I brought up the Buddha heads. I had not felt self-conscious about it until I was in there with another Christian. If the downstairs room is going to be my office, how much freedom do I have in arranging or changing the decor? I have a Bible verse wall art piece in mind.

That’ll have to be a talk for another day if it comes to that. So I went downstairs and waited for the client who I realized at seven minutes past the hour had sent me a text on Thursday saying she was going to have to reschedule her Monday appointment. How I missed that, how I can’t seem to get it right no matter how much I try to change and try…So for 50ish minutes until the next person I took notes while researching DBT.