Earlier this month our church installed a new pastor. His arrival ended the vacancy that lasted almost exactly two years. During that time our church was well taken care of by our two part-time pastors, my husband being one of them. Considering the circumstances of them both having other jobs along with navigating the various covid challenges, I can see how God sustained and took care of his people there.

We’ve shrunk dramatically in size over the past four to five years. What I liked about our church when we started is that they had families and kids there. With the kids homeschooling, I wanted a church where they could have church friends. We had an active youth group, a full pre-k through high school Sunday School classes, and a decent-sized rotation of teachers. I can still see hallways busy with kids. It isn’t like that now.

I’ve been down and unenthused about it for a while, not where it’s completely taking over my life, but in affecting my time investments and emotional involvement when it came to church. What frustrated me most was that we couldn’t just leave and go somewhere else. By the time the loss in members had become painfully obvious, Josh had already taken a part-time call there. There were issues that I do not fully understand and stayed out of, but from the little I picked up on here and there, it didn’t seem like anything big enough to justify such a loss of people.

They’re trying to revive the once a month family nights. We went last night and it was okay. I’ve had a bad attitude about things like family nights because I don’t like things that seem superficial and pointless. I just keep wanting richer and deeper relationships with people, to grow spiritually with others through fellowship, and playing “Minute to Win-It” on a Saturday evening isn’t how I imagine doing those things.

We had fun at the game night. It seemed like others did too, like we were all at least attempting to be present in the moment and make the most of what we had. With our family there were nine other people. I simultaneously feel convicted for not valuing the ones who’ve been there this whole time, and like God is opening my heart to be able to love more people again. I feel love for our church and know that God does too.